Oh hi. Guess I did it again. Guess I’ll do it again. But, what matter is that I eventually come back right? My only excuse is that my vibe right now is just LIVING LIFE! Anyway, I thought it was time for a little LA Dating debrief before I go back next month. I’m currently in Benin, yes I made it back home. I didn’t know it was really gonna happen until a few days before my flight. I’m beyond happy and grateful to spend time with my family and my siblings, and you know there’s no such better feeling than to be home. I haven’t been with or seen my family since before Covid hit so since almost 2 years. Im sitting on the roof/last floor of my family house, outside, sipping coffee, hitting myself with some green, the only thing that helps to deal with the intense pain of my periods. And writing this article now. It’s Friday July 16th, it’s 10:35AM in Benin, 11:35AM in Paris, 05:35AM in Nyc and 02:36AM in LA. I have no notion of the the time since I left LA which is why I’ve been the worst with emails and work. Yes I’m on vacation but I still have a few campaigns I have to work on and I also need to secure the next ones I will do when I go back, I even need those now so I can bring along when I go the US embassy here. So yeah, I can’t be 100% ignoring my inbox haha.
I’ve been pretty busy since I’m here in Cotonou and I’ve been waking up pretty early every day. Yes I feel exhausted but especially grateful and happy. I you follow me on the gram, you know my sister Arielle got married last week. Still feels unreal. I mean writing this, it just hits me again ahaha life happens so fast and it’s amazing to witness such blessings, the union of two soulmates. Yeah, I constantly low-key had to fight with my tears. Jonathan, her husband (omg ‘husband’!!!!) and Arielle looked so beautiful on their wedding days, big chills! Go watch the Reels recap I posted on the Gram and come back here. Anyway, after the wedding week, I’ve been swamped with my paperwork stuff, renewing my beninese passport which I need for my appointment at the US embassy soon. Just wish me luck and tons of patience because anything administrative here is basically a nightmare, they don’t make it easy for us, it’s nothing else than ridiculous, it’s a lot, it’s slow, it lacks so much communication and I could go forever, I mean if you’re from an african country especially mine, I don’t have to tell you, you know… but I also don’t want to go there today, it’s just not the topic and I have stuff to get done today also so let me finish telling you this story otherwise you know if I stopped now, it may not be out in months, I’m literally the worst ughhh.
So about my dating experience in LA? I’ve actually quite met some pretty boys since I moved there last March. Actually there were also (there always this type too ahaha) some who at first looked pretty but the next day, the high in me would be over and I’d be like thanks but actually no. Still single, yep. Still haven’t met my soulmate. He’s probably already dead, getting through a divorce, or not born yet. Well I’m convinced he is not in LA. Not in Nyc or in Benin either, I knew I wasn’t gonna meet even a cat here lol so I went a little crazy in LA the week before I left, meaning I had fun with some boys. We don’t care about those, I was just going through some kind of experiment, at least that’s what I tell myself.
Back to this LA dating recap, mmmm, what can I say? First of all, yes I met plenty of American boys, let’s call them boys and not men yeah cause men don’t act like child, ok yes they do but a real man knows what he wants (most of the time) and those kids were only there to play and loose my time. I had fun yes with some of them but it wasn’t like that’s what I I was mainly looking for. Of course fun is good but right now & being that old (mdr), I’m looking for something real, something that can last forever and well none of them had that potential or maybe I thought one of them had it. I thought (once again) that one of them could have been the one. I’m clearly, not tired to keep saying that. I mean, my friends can’t keep up with my crushes, I truly can’t either anymore. Back to him. Well he was a catch. He was (I’m not sure why I’m using the past tense but as he isn’t in the picture anymore, he deserves nothing) handsome (not my habitual type physically), not like so beautiful but it was his charm and his personality for me. And he was smart, and who doesn’t like smart men? I think we hang out for almost 2 months. I’m not putting anything that doesn’t work on timing anymore because I do believe today that if it’s the right person, you’ll both make it work, bad timing or not. You just won’t let your soulmate go away, never.
So that guy, let’s call him Joseph. So Joseph and I were pretty regular, I thought it was a bit different with him, but again, don’t I always think that? It was really lovely at least at the beginning, but again don’t beginning are the best? I liked who he was, I felt comfortable or at least everyday I was a little bit more. He was really respectful, kind, funny and really busy with work, that part was hard to deal with. Especially for a Pisces like me. When I like someone, I wanna spend some quality time with him, a lot so I get annoyed when someone does the little. I get addicted easily to I guess, to liking spending time with someone, it’s a natural thing which is really annoying because it leads to feeling things hard and getting attached easily. And we hang quite a lot, met some of his friends, actually spend more time with him and his friends than just with him, which I minded a little. We talked enough, a lot sometimes which I like you know it’s all about communicating and connecting on deeper notes which I thought we were. But at the same time, okay everything was super slow. Let me know what you think because I wasn’t sure what to think, I still am uncertain of how to interpretive this type of behavior. It never happened to me before at least from as far as I can remember. To date someone who doesn’t try to jump on me on the first or on second date. Let’s face it. Men can be animal, meaning they just can’t resist, Yes, we are meat to them. Can you believe he waited I think the 4th date before kissing me? I half liked it and half hated it. I think I liked it because I was like ok first of all, it’s different and it looks mature. Ok he’s taking his time, ok he may be really interested in me, in us and wants something serious. The other half kept thinking that he didn’t like me enough and that you know there was no connection, I don’t know. I’m also someone who enjoys physical touch, that’s like one the ways I feel loved. So I was constantly questioning his attraction for me. Also yes I was a tiny bit brunk when that first kiss finally happened, I believe he was too but it was so magical I didn’t wanna let go. I mean the next date, he barely kissed me which was driving me crazy so I was like I need you to kiss me more. And I don’t know, after that, there’s been a few dates until he disappeared on me. I’m sure his version is different, you know men, they don’t get shit. They just don’t care enough, usually. So yes, we didn’t have sex. How did it ended though? Mmm, basically he was supposed to travel for work for like a week. And I told you we were going on dates like regularly something around like 2 times a week so we were supposed to see each other before he leaves. So early that week, I think he was leaving like Thursday. We quickly texted Monday and Tuesday (he mentioned he was gonna leave and yeah we were gonna hang) and he didn’t give any news after that. I was the one who initiated Monday and Tuesday convos and you’re leaving Thursday so in my mind you were gonna hit me up Wednesday to hang but you say nothing. You leave Thursday, no news, Friday same. So at that point, I’m like you’re messing up, that’s not something you do when you care. So I texted him, he had no excuses to me because he could have send a text or call me at any point before he left, even if there was no time to see each other before, he could have communicate and not just ignoring me like that. Again he didn’t care enough. So I wasn’t expecting any answer, it’s gonna feel dark to say that, but unless you’re dead, I don’t see why you disappear juste like that. You either dead or you don’t care. He answered acting like nothing was up, you know men, I was so annoyed I didn’t answered back. And he never said anything either since that day. Which just confirmed he wasn’t that into me. So that was the only real date I think I had, the only one that I spend that time with and that I liked at that time.
I did met a lot of others guys but none that I liked or that I saw more than one or two times.Joseph was the first and there was two others I met during before & during the Joseph Period. That Period had the Dowtown Guy, The Eater & The Husband Material aka Joseph. I believe I met first the Dowtown Guy, a fuck boy. You know they’re toxic but sex with them is that good. That’s all they have, they’re amazing at sex and nothing else that’s why they have to be that good at it. So random and not so random at the same time how we met. I can’t go in details too much because I don’t know if some friends would feel comfortable about that so let’s just say that we met through common friends & dates ahaha. That day, I was like can someone bring a cute guy for me? Here’s the type of guy I like. Thank you! When he arrived first, I was actually like damn, he is short. Don’t ask me why most of the men I meet are short. It’s so annoying, I’m over it. But back to Dowtown Guy. So I wasn’t attracted at the beginning but he was kinda cool and someone who you you know could get along with anyone. Guess we hooked up that night which wasn’t planned but we did hang most of the day with friends then alone and that was like a one time thing I thought, pretty sure he did too. When we talked and he was like I don’t believe in marriage I was like it’s a wrap. Great sex though! Then I think like a month after (I was seeing Joseph but it was a night he bailed on me, and I was like let me hang with another guy to take my mind of Joseph, you know so I don’t end up being obsessed with Joseph too much) we hooked up again. So how it happened again, because it’s a fuck boy, after the first time he was acting up, like not or barely answering me, putting it on work. Men are so trash, always acting like they’re the only one working. Women work too kids, the difference is we make time because we care. I just wanted to hook up again you know and men always think you’re falling for them. They don’t think that women sometimes only want what they want, just sex. It was a Sunday, I was on the phone with my friend Syana, you know she live in France but she is currently in Hambourg, Germany working and living her best life. Looks like I may have to go to Germany to find my tall men. Anyway she was like just tell him straight then that that’s what you want from him, only sex, so he knows and you’ll see. You have to communicate because men are dumb and you need to tell them things straight, they just never get shit. The way their brain works is very different of the way ours works. I’d always wanted to actually do that, be that straight about sex, so I was like let me try that. I have nothing to loose, you can’t think of your dignity when you’re just trying to have sex ahaha. Hang the phone with her, and call him. For once, he answered to my call. We talked a little I’m like a little mean to him which he likes obviously and then I’m like yeah you’ve been acting up meanwhile all I want is hook up, nothing else. He definitely didn’t see it coming. But of course, he wasn’t gonna say no. I’m offering you what most men want, just sex, no drama, no dating, just sex. When he said yes, sure, I’ll hit that, I thought that was hot. I was also very horny that day and annoyed by Joseph which I was supposed to see initially. I showered, wore some pretty lingerie, put a mid long jacket on, some high boots and ordered a Uber for Dowtown LA. And wow, the sex was even better than the first time. So much better. I stayed only 2 hours and we must have had sex at least 4 times, everywhere, such a great night. He was fine with me sleeping there, but I had to be home in the morning for work so I was like I need to go home, plus I only wanted sex for him and yes we’d would have had amazing sex in the morning too but yeah ahaha, work duties. After that, all I wanted was more sex with him especially after Joseph disappeared but as a typical fuck boy, Dowtown Guy was MIA, which was driving me crazy. Just say it if you’re over hooking up, it’s not that deep. So I deleted his number, unfollowed him. And that’s how it ended. I mean I also had to leave for Benin and I’m glad of the timing. Fact is it’s hard to move on from really great sex, at at least for me.
The Eater, yes we love the name I gave him. Basically means he was trying to eat me on the first night. Okay I know how it sounds and I’m sorry to let you know that you probably got the wrong idea. He was just so all over me, and we weren’t alone, we were having drinks at my place with some other people. Met him via Tinder, I was out that day to the pub near my house, it’s lit, I went there a lot when I first moved because it’s so close to me. It’s like 2 min walking ahaha met tons of people there including people living in my building. So the eater met me at that bar and then we took the party back to my place with the others. He was hot and tall. I think it’s because he was tall that I fell ahaha. You know, considering I mostly always ran into short guys like the Dowtown. Yes he tried to have sex that first night we met, but I wasn’t in that mood so we didn’t. He kept texting me so much, which was annoying me because he wasn’t making real plans and I don’t know, he would text me and ask me the same thing while I’d already answer. He was just super weird, even in real, I barley got what he was saying or I just wasn’t that interested. He was hot but I felt like that was it. We weren’t connecting but I gave him a second chance, which I regretted. He noticed I wasn’t into it and the fact that he was commenting stuff like oh you don’t like me anymore made me like him even less so I ended up telling him that I don’t think anything was happening between us.
These three were the first men I met but there’s been more yes, but those I mostly saw them once ahaha. Talking about the random guys I met the week before I fly from LA. I will tell you more about those in the next post, I don’t want this blogpost to be even longer, it already looks like a novel with all these paragraphs but hope you enjoy and see you when I see you x)